When you open up your shoe search to the wold wide web, your options are endless. All of the sudden millions of colors and styles are at your finger tips. The amateur virtual shopper may find herself overwhelmed with the sheer diversity of choices. The exotic designs far surpass even the most bold options in a warehouse. They are just waiting for you to consider them for that perfect place in your humble closet. The only downfall: you can't try them on before inviting them home. Is the appeal of exotic style worth more than the familiar comfort of trying a shoe on in person?
Jason was my proverbial on-line exotic shoe purchase. His foreign accent made me giddy when he would call. We spent hours talking about life, work, and how to be happy spiritually in the midst of religious burden. He worked hard, drove a nice car, and understood social justice issues in our American culture. Furthermore, he was not intimidated when I broached controversial topics. In fact, I suspect he thought I was sexier for doing so. Had I found a man that was the "whole package" with an irresistible accent to boot? Jason would send me bubbly text messages throughout the day to see how I was, and to spread his positivity in my life. It wasn't too long before I deemed him Mr. Open Minded.
Napa and Evelyn were beyond annoyed with my incessant rants about Jason. I took any opportunity to squeeze his name in to the conversation.
"Speaking of frozen yogurt, did you know Jason is playing like 4 sports right now? He stays so busy! He should reward himself with some fro yo every now and then."
They would politely nod their heads in a "That fact is just as interesting as the first five times you told us" kind of way. Evelyn, being the natural sweetheart that she is, would often ask me some sort of follow-up question allowing me to indulge in my latest obsession.
The first date day finally came. Jason scored even more points when he suggested both a time and a location to meet. One would be surprised at how difficult it is to get a man to take such initiative now a days. Maybe that is a broad generalization, but my "research" shows that the on-line dating kind of guy most often struggles with this type of assertiveness.
Armed with my trusty Spanx and a flattering shade of ruby lip gloss, I made my way toward the restaurant we agreed to meet at. Even I was checking myself out. This guy didn't stand a chance. I walked toward him as he stood on a corner waiting. Something about the thickness of the summer air after the recent rain made the moment feel romantic.
As I got closer, I grimaced at the "dad jeans" he was wearing. The romantic moment abruptly faded. Heck, even my dad doesn't wear "dad jeans." Mom keeps him relatively up to date. Reminding myself that inner beauty was much more important to me than outward appearance, I trudged on. Besides, a woman can always influence the fashion faux pas of a man she truly loves, right?
Jason was just as warm and bubbly in person as he was on the phone. There was an instant comfort that I felt in his presence. As we walked to the restaurant, he filled the silence with his bubbly humor. I felt a certain ease around him, as if we had been friends for years.
As we continued talking over a late lunch and several drinks, I had mixed emotions about how the afternoon was unfolding. Jason was still incredibly energetic and bubbly....maybe a touch too bubbly. There were no lulls in the conversation as we sat and talked for four hours. Throughout the course of the date, he was already holding my hand right on top of the table, like a seasoned couple would do. "Should we go somewhere new?" He interrupted my thoughtful analysis. I was completely caught off guard.
"Somewhere new?" I thought. "We have been on our first date for four hours already!" My cheeks were throbbing from the courtesy smiles I had been giving to indicate the important social cue of being engaged. I was beginning to think that Jason was like a super cute strappy sandal: designed to flatter your foot while simultaneously giving you the worst blisters you have ever had.
Upon arrival to our new restaurant, I promptly texted Napa and Evelyn. "If you love me like you say you do, you will get your butts down here". Like any best friends would do, they were instantly on their way.
"My friends actually were in the neighborhood and they are going to stop by. I hope that is OK with you" I fibbed.
"That would be great" Jason gushed. He immediately grabbed my hand again when I sat down. It was if he was excited to move on to the "meeting the friends" portion of our five hour relationship. Little did he know I was sending in the artillery.
Napa and Evelyn arrived in no time, and we all decided to order dinner. That's right....I was now having a second meal with my lunch date. Jason continued holding my hand in plain sight, slowly stroking my thumb with his index finger. I blushed with embarrassment, as I knew I would get an earful from the girls later on. I was beginning to grow concerned that he perhaps brought a engagement ring along with him.
Napa has been known to boldly save me from awkward situations with men in the past, and this date was no different. She immediately relieved the pressure by asking Jason many questions about himself. I finally was able to breathe as the spotlight moved from me to him. Evelyn was a strategic invite as well. She calmly engaged me in conversation while Napa did her thing. I even found an opportunity to naturally disengage my hand from the death love grip of my potential suitor.
The moment Napa went to the restroom, Jason leaned over and whispered "I am going to nickname her the Spanish Inquisition". He giggled, clearly amused at himself.
"Yeah, isn't she just fabulous?" I said with a grin.
Ten o'clock finally rolled around. Had this date really lasted 9 hours? How could I have let that happen? The girls were perceptive of my exhaustion and wrapped things up for me. As we all walked out of the restaurant and said our goodbyes, there it was again: the death love grip. He walked me to my car, which happened to be in the opposite direction of my beloved Napa and Evelyn.
The moment was upon us. The awkward first date goodbye. As I went in for a friendly hug, Jason suddenly mauled me with a very open-mouthed kiss goodnight. "Is it over yet??" was the first thing running through my mind. Most often, it can be considered a bad sign if one recipient of a kiss is waiting in anticipation for it to end. It wasn't over yet. "If only he could close his mouth just a little bit...it wouldn't be so bad" I analyzed as I waited.
As soon as he released my prisoner lips, he thanked me for a great evening. I watched as he and his "dad jeans" walked away to his car. In that moment, I was certain that Mr. Open Minded was truly Mr. Overeager.
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